New Words

by Chris Chaos

(WARNING: strong words)

From time to time I like to add to and modify the English language, sometimes this angers and sends up red flags to the mighty army of Grammar Nazis on Facebook. They taunt and correct me thinking that I have not mastered the use of the English language, but HARK!, I am simply adding new entries.

 For an example: When you are sound asleep and tucked into bed all peaceful, your cat
may decide to come and lay near your pillow and think it is a thoughtful act to drop a dirty
bomb within close proximity to your face. This TOMFOOLERY will not be accepted and it
is proper to use the word UNFUCK. But by itself it makes little to no sense so I added a
modifier, UNFUCK YOURSELF. Here it is used in a sentence:

"Cat, you had better unfuck yourself!"

Then it would be customary to shoo the cat away as you wait for the cat's fart resin to
clear the air.

Another way to befuddle the Grammar Nazis is to bring back and use archaic words from
the past, some were sprinkled above. More examples are:

"Skullfuck" or "skullfuckary"

"gash"
(although the photo depicts a gash to the leg, "strawberry gash" should refer to the female sex organs"

"tomfoolery"

"hark"

and the legendary "gravitas"

The Keifer Video:

Keifer Sutherland GRAVITAS

(Chris Chaos is a long time resident of South Jersey who once again resides in and writes from Gloucester City, New Jersey. He is a filmmaker, a business owner, writer, urban explorer and investigator of the odd and weird, a proud parent, happily taken and a connoisseur of hot wings. Chris can be reached at AxisVideo@aol.com)