Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Close Calls and Occurrences

by Chris Chaos

The Start of many occurrences…the story starts on:
April 22nd 1978
Approximately 7.59pm

It was a dark and dismal day. The next hour is drawing near. Only minutes away. A soon to be mother anxiously awaits the birth of her new baby boy. The machines go wild; the doctors go into a frenzy, mother’s heart drops. Something is wrong. The most joyful moment in a newly expectant couple’s life turns dire. The baby’s heart beat has changed, something is wrong.
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The cord is wrapped around baby’s neck, time to take evasive action. The baby comes out, but he is blue. But fear not, the story ends well…this story that is. He is granted life and escapes to the next day. Read on.

Fast forward approximately 2 years…

Near drowning

The baby has grown up and is 2 years old..playing near the pool..splash…wetness…water ripples..sun glazing down…last thoughts of going away..leaving this world..*BIGGER SPLASH*…..hazy…choke, gag. Grandmother to the rescue…pulls young child out of the pool. GASP! Granted life once again, extended stay, escape into the next day.

Fast forward approx. 5 years…

Electrified fence

Boy out with his half brother and sister..going to the store…walking in woods and back streets….pass by a farm…boy sees horses and other farm animals and tries to climb over this fence with a thin wire…can’t move, paralyzed. Immobile…electrified fence. After what seemed like an eternity finally pulled free to allow muscles to relax and contract. Granted life once again..

"THE NEXT “OCCURRENCE”: After Axis Video started gaining notoriety we had to make sure everything was noticeable among our fans, even our vehicles. We spotted a bright orange van (see Axis’s vehicles) for sale with flames painted on the sides; we just had to buy it. This van fit the attitude fully. Bought, earned, and paid in full. An excellent addition to the Axis collection.

Flash forward a few months…This occurrence occurred in the early 00’s. After a long day at work the normal routine was switched, had to pick up the baby from the sitters, traffic…eyes glazed over in lack of sleep. A car pulls out of the liquor store parking and swings onto wrong side of the road, to avoid the head on collision swerve..hits park car..looking dumb hitting a parked car as the culprit drives away unscathed.

Totaled van, points on the license and looking dumb sitting there after “hitting” a parked car. The police came to take the report and some lady stayed as a witness and stated that I intentionally swerved into the parked car, yeah ok. So the tow truck took the van and a police officer had to drop me off at home. He kept looking at me weird on the way home, which was only about 3 miles, and I had no idea why. When I got home I was pissed, set all my stuff down and then noticed mud all over the living room carpet, and what is that smell? Wait, that isn’t mud. Apparently I stepped in dog crap after the accident and now I realize why the cop was looking at me funny in the car, he must have smelled it. So now I had a wrecked van and a carpet to clean.

Yet another “occurrence”: Now to all the people that have known me for some time you know that the number 136 is a constant stalker, reminder, haunt and main stay in my life. It was 1.36 pm..with 13.6 miles left to go to the next destination. Driving down I-95 in Philly. Weather was good, not hot, not cold, but just enough to have the window partially opened. *CRACK* a rock smashed off the side window…if the window was down another inch then that rock would have been a direct hit upon my face.


Chrissy and I were parked at a red light waiting for it to change. She was driving and I was in the passenger seat. The light turned green, I noticed but she didn't since she was talking and telling a story. At that moment a car ran their red light (our green light) at about 50 MPH. She then noticed it was a green light for us and that the car just barreled through the light.

Fate? If she wasn't telling the story and if she would have went when our light turned green then we would have gotten plowed by the car running the red light. At the speed the driver was going they would have collided into the driver side door and who knows what would have happened to us.


One night we were going to our late night commercial gig at approximately 11:30pm. We were stopped at a red light and waiting for the green light so we could continue on. For some odd reasons the traffic lights were not functioning correctly that night.

Usually one set of lights are green and the others are red for the proper and safe flow of traffic. But on this night for some reason the other street turned red and ours was supposed to turn green, but it did not happen. All sets of lights were red. In an instant an ambulance zoomed through their red light (which should have been our green light). So luckily there was some sort of malfunction since if we would have gone and our light would have turned green then we would have gotten slammed but the speeding ambulance. The ambulance did have their lights on but had no sirens blaring and the angle we were at the red light we could not see the ambulances lights flashing despite it being dark out.


We were driving to a gig in Pennsylvania and going through a somewhat busy town. It was a 4 lane road with 2 lanes for each direction. We were on the inside lane and driving through town as a car that was trying to make a turn across our traffic turned into our direction and then stopped. If it wasn't for Chrissy's quick reactions by jerking the wheel into the right lane we would have hit them very hard just about head on. Luckily there was no one in the lane to the right of us.

The above was the short list, there were many more. Life is short and tomorrow is never promised, so take each day in stride.

“Today death tried to take me, but not today. One day you will win. But not today.” Chris Chaos

(Chris Chaos is a long time resident of South Jersey who once again resides in and writes from Gloucester City, New Jersey. Chris can be reached at

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